


Don't Worry, Don't Worry, Don't Lose Your Head~ (I Didn't Mean To Hurt Anyone)

by AnotherTerribleDay



Series: One-Shots Inspired by my YouTube Mix [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: He could be saved?, I didn't write a funeral or anything, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not a Crossover, This Is Sad, This Was Inspired By Don't Lose Ur Head From SIX the Musical, This is Evan just reflecting on his senior year, with implied suicide at the end :/
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29197833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherTerribleDay/pseuds/AnotherTerribleDay
Summary: Evan reflects on senior year, and the mess it was. (Title from Don't Lose Ur Head.)
Relationships: Alana Beck & Evan Hansen & Jared Kleinman & Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy, Evan Hansen & Cynthia Murphy, Evan Hansen & Heidi Hansen, Evan Hansen & Larry Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen)
Series: One-Shots Inspired by my YouTube Mix [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2143863
Kudos: 5





	Don't Worry, Don't Worry, Don't Lose Your Head~ (I Didn't Mean To Hurt Anyone)

Evan didn’t mean to let it get this far. Evan didn’t mean to make this mess. He didn’t mean to hurt anyone. He just couldn’t say no to the Murphy’s. He became what they wanted him to be. Cynthia, crying over his therapy note, believing Connor wrote it to him. Larry, looking unemotional, but you could tell he cared. Evan wanted to help them mourn. Move past their son dying so tragically. But now… He’s hurt so many people, and he can never take it back.

His mom hates him, and is feeling like he doesn’t care about her. Of course he cares, he just was, still is, a burden. He lied about where he was, and was relying on the Murphy’s, not even telling her. He should’ve told her. At least something, instead of lying to her like he was about Connor. Now she’s hurt. 

Alana, well, Evan dragged her in the mud for months, lying to her when she genuinely wanted to help everybody. Because she knows what it’s like to feel invisible. It was her idea. He used it, then abandoned it when Zoe was the better option. She wanted to work on this, she wanted less people to feel forgotten and alone. He ignored the project, focusing on Zoe. Zoe, who was hurting. Zoe, the girl of his dreams. Zoe, his new girlfriend. Zoe, his  _ supposed dead best friend’s sister _ .

Jared? His only friend before any of this? Evan ditched him as soon as he didn’t need the e-mails. They made the emails, had a good time. Then boom, he was at the Murphy’s house again. And ignored him. Again, and again, and again. He may not have been the best person ever, but he was there, he helped with the emails when he didn’t have to. And as thanks for all that, he threw his insecurities in his face. Zoe wasn’t kidding when she said it could be Only Us. 

Speaking of Zoe, he hurt her. Lied about her dead brother. Over-romanticized her. Became obsessed with her. Connor was abusive, and he lied about it. Saying he cared. How would Evan know? He talked to him once. It wasn’t even very friendly at the end. And now he’s  _ dead _ . Connor would be ashamed of him. And her parents… they’re hurt as much as she is. He  _ lied about their dead son _ . What twisted person does that? Oh that’s right. Him. He did that.

He remembers senior year, one mistake after another. What was he meant to do?

Oh. Maybe not lie to everyone. Maybe not ditch everyone as soon as he was done with them. 

They’ll understand. They might even be glad he’s gone. 

He opens the bottle of anxiety pills, and swallows them all. 

The irony, that his anxiety medicine killed him. His only hope killed him.

His vision gets blurry, and he clenches his suicide note.

He commits suicide, but he’ll be remembered for preventing it. 

More proof he’s just a liar the world won’t miss. But he hears the door to his bedroom open. 

He hits the ground before he can identify who it is. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, this was sad. I don't know how I wrote this lol. I literally was going through my mix, and Don't Lose Ur Head from SIX the musical came on. And now this exists. It's also my first fanfic pls don't kill me.


End file.
